On Normality

During my deep dive into the realm of neurodiversity, I asked myself: how do we define “the norm”? 

What if the framework of orientation we currently use is not the norm after all? What if variety and diversity are and always have been nature’s “norm” for survival in this world? 

Along my journey as a psychotherapist, I have experienced that neither my clients nor I fit into the current societal frame of being „normal“.

None of us experiences our existence as a perfect fit with the individualistic, performance-oriented and capitalistic model we call Western Society. 

What if our super-productive, career-striving, self-sufficient and highly independent standard is not a suitable frame or scaffold for any of us to thrive? 

What if openness to otherness, connection, compassion and dialogue were to be cultivated instead? 

Life is multi-layered, complicated and marked by change and transformation. It forces upon us the impossible task of navigating opposites: loss and renewal, hope and fear, light and dark, „good“ and „evil“, pain and joy – all at the same time. 

No matter how much ‘control’ we try to exert over our lives, we are bound to fall at some point along the way. It is inevitable.

I believe we need to strip ourselves of the contemporary concept of “normality” in terms of mental health and mental wellbeing and replace the pathologising lens of 

“if I struggle with mental health issues, I need to fix something in me in order to fit in again” 

with the existential lens of what it means to be human in a life that is not, nor ever has been, a straight line forward. 

It’s time we acknowledge that mental health is not defined by an absence of pain and suffering – but the humility and acceptance that pain and suffering are an integral part of what it means to be human.