Many people seeking out counselling or therapy are of the notion that – as a therapist – I must have figured it all out. I must be in possession of the Holy Grail on ‘how to be human’. I am far from that. I am a traveller on my own life’s journey – facing fears, losing hope, grieving losses, experiencing pangs of anxiety and self-doubt. In life, things will not go according to plan. We will fall, we will fail, we will experience heartbreak, sorrow and pain. Grief will a

We live in an age of intellectual acceleration. We learn fast. We connect the dots. We fill the gaps. Our brains run at full speed; our minds are on fire. And yet, our hearts and souls remain undernourished, longing for emotional depth. We create opportunities to connect but seem unable to truly experience the present moment. We master the emotional vocabulary but are too afraid to feel what we are brave enough to name. Authentic connection asks us to be vulnerable: to le

I’ve spent the last two days in a state of constant overwhelm, anticipating a medical treatment I will need to undergo. Minor surgery. A standard procedure. But still – surgery. I consider myself lucky to have never experienced this before, yet because of that, my (neurodivergent) mind spirals away, trying to get a hold of what to expect. My thoughts are spinning, my anxiety spiking. I picture myself lying there – under bright lights, unconscious, vulnerable, helpless – a

Growing up, many of us learned that being nice, pleasant, or agreeable was rewarded with attention, affection, and love. It was – or became – an unspoken rule that love followed from paying close attention to others’ needs, expectations, or emotional states, and from consciously or unconsciously adapting ourselves to meet them. As children, we learn very quickly how to navigate life and our immediate surroundings in ways that allow us to form attachments and experience love

Love is so much more than a feeling. Love is a way of living. An act of walking through life with open eyes, paying attention to all those little things that fill our world with beauty and grace. Love is intentional. It asks of us to put our guard down, to be touched and moved by all the small gestures and encounters we experience. To let them humble us. Love asks of us to see and welcome others for what they are - not what we want them to be. Love means to see ourselve

I recently discovered that I’m autistic – at the age of 43, after having worked as a psychotherapist for several years. This realization has not only offered me a new understanding of myself and my biography, but also a deeper appreciation for the many layers the human experience entails. While autism has been largely discussed in connection to the struggles, disadvantages and suffering autistic individuals experience by having to squeeze into a society dominated by neuroty

In an earlier post, I reflected on the joys, rewards and inspiration that being autistic or otherwise neurodivergent can bring. This time I’d like to focus on the flipside, as – like all things in life – neurodivergence comes with a “both…and” experience… For me, it can be utterly challenging, paralyzing or painful at times. It all depends on the context, on my energy level, on the everyday demands and interactions I am facing. All those little (or big) things that touch, m

What does it really mean to be human? This blog is titled ‘On the Art of Being Human‘ – and not ‘On the Art of Being Neurodivergent‘. While my neurodivergence has shaped every aspect of the person I have become, it does not define the entirety of my being. Our neurological wiring is what I like to call our bedding or lining – it builds the foundation for how we take in, process and resonate with ourselves and the world around us. In that, we differ from the so-called n

During my deep dive into the realm of neurodiversity, I asked myself: how do we define “the norm”? What if the framework of orientation we currently use is not the norm after all? What if variety and diversity are and always have been nature’s “norm” for survival in this world? Along my journey as a psychotherapist, I have experienced that neither my clients nor I fit into the current societal frame of being „normal“. None of us experiences our existence as a perfect

Growing up, many of us were taught that leading a happy and fulfilled life meant that we cannot feel happy and sad at the same time. That...

All of us need to experience, in some way or other, that we – as individuals – matter. That we are being seen, that we are being...

I must confess – the term ‘self-improvement’ gives me the creeps. If there were such a thing as sensory sensitivity for words and expressions, then ‘self-improvement’ equals the sound of fingernails scraping down a blackboard for me. Whenever I stumble upon it, it sends shivers down my spine. We tend to believe that the hardships and suffering we are facing must mean that we are somehow flawed. That there’s something inherently wrong with us, and we need to ‘work on ourse

Neurodivergent women have beautiful, curious minds that operate in unique and unconventional ways. We dig deep, make connections many others don’t, think out of the box and excel in our beloved topics and areas of interest. When we’re in hyperfocus, our minds are on fire! Therein lies so much potential. Potential to share our knowledge and wisdom with the world, to enter conversations and discourse, to contribute to research, innovation and social change. And yet, many wo

From an early age, I have been utterly and completely fascinated by music. It draws me in and cracks my heart wide open. My soul is sighing. To me, like poetry, it speaks of ancient wisdom and universal truths. I feel held, embraced even, by the soft and tender touch of songs full of pain and longing, joy and sorrow, love and despair - the essence of being human. Singing along my favorite songs releases tension from my body, lifts my mood and calms my nervous system. Stand

Without pain and longing there would be no poetry, no music, no art in any form. The human experience of pain and longing is universal: all of us have to face major change, loss, separation, heartbreak… it is the course of life. It is inevitable. And precisely because all of us experience pain, it has the power to connect us. We can relate, we see ourselves in other people‘s pain. We see ourselves in artwork that invokes feelings of sadness, longing or aching… We feel s

My own journey of Unmasking started long before I discovered that I am autistic and it still continues. So far, it’s been both utterly...

I recently wrote about Unmasking - a term connected to how autistic and otherwise neurodivergent individuals like me journey towards their authentic self, daring to deviate from the social scripts and expectations they had internalized in order to ‚fit in‘. But this process of ‚letting go’ - of shedding roles or identities we’ve taken on - also deeply resonates with what Carl Jung called ‚Individuation‘. Individuation describes the process of freeing ourselves from the id

I view psychotherapy as an exploration of oneself and the world, resonating with both the inner and outer realms. It’s about encounter, connection, looking inward and outward, becoming aware, gaining insight, embracing change, transformation, and growth. It’s about feeling, recognizing boundaries and the spaces in between, navigating through different layers of who we are, noticing our inner worlds, making them accessible to language, integrating all our parts into one holi

Love is the one thing that all of us strive for… To love and to be loved is a basic human need. But in our pursuit of love, we often neglect a fundamental truth: love, wholehearted love, comes at a cost. We cannot desire to love and be loved – truly, sincerely, wholeheartedly – without also being willing to accept and embrace the pain that inevitably will follow at some point along love’s way. To love and to accept love means to be brave. We need to open ourselves up, fully

I believe real intimacy – whether in friendships or romantic relationships – can only happen if we dare be vulnerable. If we dare expose...