Shame and Connection

Shame has a powerful influence on how I connect with myself, with others and the world.

Shame forces me to hide parts of myself, in fear of being rejected when exposing them to others. Thus, I try to abandon those shame-triggering parts, try to push them as far aside as I can, to bury them deep down inside me.

But doing this requires a lot of energy.

I must be on guard all the time to make sure those parts, which I resent and fear so much, do not pop-up again, do not reach the surface.

And being on guard is the opposite of opening-up. Of opening-up to the world.

And deep connection can only happen when I allow myself to be fully seen by others. 

So, how can I break this pattern?

I believe the key is to allow myself to be vulnerable, to be exposed.

By taking all my courage and looking those parts, which I have abandoned for such a long time, right in the eye. To “see” them, to accept them as part of myself, to experience compassion for them and to integrate them into my whole being.

In doing so I can stand there, in front of the world, and say: “Look, this is ALL me! I expose myself to you, and I dare to shine.”

This can have a very powerful and transformative effect. It can be the gate-opener for experiencing deep connection.